They say when you know better, you do better. I believe that is not the case for most people. Myself included. I know better, I have yet to do better. Sitting here shaking my head at myself.
Whats the problem you ask? Well, I do permanent things with temporary people causing prolonged feelings of anger and resentment. I am truly looking to get to the bottom of this illness I have. I have been in a constant battle. The battle is with myself. Asking myself…”Why you say that?”…The answer, put as simply as possible: I must be in a battle between what I need, what I want and what I accept. Its craziness, lunacy and psychotic.
I have always thought of myself as someone who looks for the long term return instead of the short term profit. But it seems that I have been doing alot of self sabotage. Especially with the people that I keep in my personal life. Is this a way to keep myself from having to deal with people in a trusting and committed relationship? Or am I truly scared to succeed?
I dont know. ..but I know I need some help.