When I was younger, I never realized the connections I was making with people would be ones that would be with me for this many years to come. At the time I was really trying to find my way. I had a baby and I was still a baby myself. Sure wish I could have done things different, been a little smarter in certain circumstances, been a little more patient in some relationships, opened myself up a little more to receive the truth. I was a child with many insecurities, a fear of solitude,low self esteem, no self-confidence, a unnatural distrust for people and yearning for someone to love me. As I grew older somethings have changed for the better, matured with me, and somethings have remained the same. The yearning is still there. I value all my experiences, my relationships, the hurts, the triumphs and all the bumps in the road. They have made ME.
Realistically Speaking…….Kiki
Kanika 'Ki Ki' Baker
Yeah, life has a way of making you reflect on the past ,present, and future. You have overcame many obstacles and have beat most odds, but never get self-defeated, too many people would love to see you fail. Keep rising to the top,even if getting there is causing so much trouble and pain, I promise you it will be worth the struggle. Hopefully I will be around to witness it when it happens, cause it will.
Yeah, you ain’t never lied about that! Part if the hurt I was going through though was as I was dropping some of these bags, letting go demons….others were coming up. I was remembering things I should have dealt with a long time ago. It was fucking with me but I have been talking about them to the appropriate people and it don’t hurt as much anymore. So thank goodness for growth.